Writing your secular ceremony

The secular ceremony is an increasingly popular alternative to traditional ceremonies, characterized by freedom and flexibility. It is completely customizable, which is its charm, but can also be a source of stress...

Were you asked to officiate?  Are you feeling the pressure and writer's block? Don't panic! Take a deep breath and discover our tips for writing a ceremony full of emotion and without a hitch!

Writing a secular ceremony © Pinewood weddings

Writing a Secular Ceremony: Think About the Structure of Your Outline

A ceremony lasts between 45 minutes and 1 hour, depending on what you want to put in it. The idea is to make it as personal et unique possible.

Freedom in the choice of speakers, music, texts, rituals…. For a secular ceremony, you have carte blanche.

But be careful, this ceremony must revolve around the married and reflect above all who they are and what they want, so take the time to take stock together to find out what they have in mind, How do they want to make their entrance? Their exit? Do they have ideas for texts? Who  would they like to see intervene?
Take time to pause, discuss, reflect, remember and also answer these questions:

Where do they come from? What were they like when they were little? What were their childhood dreams? What do they do for a living? What are their values? Their shared values? How did they meet? What have they experienced together? What do they like about each other? What are their plans for the future? Why did they decide to get married?

The goal is to gather as much information as possible, to have material to tell. Once you have enough marbles, it's time to take the plunge!

Now it's a matter of transcribing all of this, of telling a story that honors the bride and groom and pays tribute to their love.

Are you still following? Then let's continue.

The writing framework of the Secular Ceremony

Although there is no standard procedure as such (because you are free to write as you wish – we repeat – just in case), we still observe recurrences.

• It all starts somewhere, so Enter

Very often, everything begins with a word of welcome, to gather the guests, thank them for their presence, explain the principle of the ceremony and give them some instructions (like keeping their phones deep in their pockets to live in the moment, for example). The arrival of the procession is then announced.

• Make a grand entrance

The entrance of the bride and groom sets the tone for the ceremony.

Solemn or staggered arrival, in procession or solo, Flower Girls, Beer Boys, this is the first opportunity to have fun, put smiles on the faces of the guests or make some tears shed… whichever you prefer. Go all out!

• Thank you

By the Officiant and/or the bride and groom. Do we really need to explain what the thank-yous are for? We thank the bride and groom for choosing us to officiate, and we can tell them what this means to us. We can also let the bride and groom say a few words to the guests.

Writing a secular ceremony © Pinewood weddings

• Tell a Love Story

And now we get started. Chronology is probably the most used frame because it is the simplest to implement. It is quite simple in reality (yes yes I assure you), it's up to you to tell the story of the bride and groom from their childhood to today.

Don't fall so far in a heavy enumeration and monotonous. No !

Before talking about the couple as such, it is important to talk about WHO forms the couple, because everyone is unique, with their own history, strengths and weaknesses.

Start from the beginning, who they are, how small they were, highlight the fun and endearing sides of their personalities, the best memories, the highlights of their history, energize with unusual or even downright funny anecdotes, how did they meet, When did they know they were meant for each other, talk about what they built together, their future plans.

Always with respect. Teasing is okay, disrespect and bad manners are NO WAY.

• Give the Word

Talking alone for 45 minutes may be difficult (and long) for you, to keep you from ending up thirsty, pass the word. And yes, as stated just before, it is not enough to list the stages of the married couple's life, NO! It is appropriate to make all this punchy and lively story. By involving in particular people who were spectators or even actors in the highlights.

They were wonderful kids? Ask their parents to testify. Did they meet in business school? Bring in a former classmate.

The Secular Ceremony is also an opportunity to give a voice to loved ones, so that they are actors of the moment and can tell the bride and groom what they never took the time to say.

And for those who wish to participate without revealing too much, there is always the possibility of reading a text, a poem, chosen by the bride and groom or by them.

Interventions can be individual or in small groups, which is recommended 5 maximum, with an average duration of 2 to 3 minutes.

• Exchange your wishes

One of the most anticipated and moving moments.

The opportunity for the bride and groom to publicly and mutually declare their love for each other and to formulate their commitments.

• Symbolize

What is better than ritual to embody the commitment and punctuate the celebration?  As stated in the article “ HOW TO ORGANIZE YOUR SECULAR CEREMONY ", the ritual, although not obligatory, allows you to give substance to your words.

Union or collective ritual, romantic, playful, or offbeat, the main thing here too is that it matches the bride and groom. Know that the exchange of rings is a ritual in itself.

• Close

Once the exchange of vows and the rituals have been carried out, the officiant can pronounce a final speech to close the ceremony, thank the guests again, and send his wishes and encouragement to the bride and groom.

Writing a secular ceremony © Pinewood weddings

• Here the exit

The ceremony ends with the exit of the bride and groom, here too, it is an opportunity to have fun and to give the impetus for the rest of the evening.

Confetti throwing, bubbles, honor guard, moonwalk or unicorn release … Of course unicorns don't exist, but I think you understand the logic, here too, you have carte blanche, give free rein to the desires of the bride and groom.   

• Last but not least: Enjoy the atmosphere!

Since music has a direct influence on our emotions, ask the bride and groom to choose music by “highlight”: installation of guests, entry of the procession, reading of vows, exchange of rings/rituals and exit of the bride and groom. What better than music to give soul and energy to this moment?

Obviously, we have presented here one way among many others to write a celebration. Other common threads can be considered, such as a celebration  on a particular theme: spirituality, values, TV games…

The main thing is that the Ceremony:

• Be like the bride and groom
• Respect their wishes
• Be dynamic
• Be consistent

Did you like this article? Check back in 15 days for a new article “Why do a Ritual”

Only Love – Solène

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PHOTOGRAPHY Pinewood weddings / FLORAL DESIGN Sartoria Floreale / PLANNING The Lindi / BRIDAL GOWN Galia Lahav / FLORAL DESIGN: Arechi group / EVENT DESIGN Previous Events

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A WORD FROM THE EDITOR

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